We don't know what we're doing, but we know we have to
by Taort
Summary: A son of Venus, a son of Zeus, and a daughter of Hephaestus walk into a quest. [The Lost Hero trio, godly parent swap AU]


It happened while Drew was bringing him to Chiron: she was just in the midst of telling him how much of a letdown it would be if they turned out to be half-siblings, when suddenly Jason saw the air turn pink.

Apparently, at least when it came to claiming her children, his mother had a sense of humor.

-o-

Flaming Star Trek hammer appearing over her head or no, Piper found it a little hard to believe that she could be a daughter of Hephaestus. She'd only ever been good at breaking things, in her "classic attention-seeking behavior."

Hephaestus was supposed to make things, fix things. Not destroy them.

-o-

You know, for some reason, Leo wasn't all that happy about getting stared at by a pretty blonde. "How could this be?" asked the girl named Annabeth, disbelief covering her face as she looked him up and down, as if inspecting him for lies. _Look, I'M not the one who put the giant flashy lightning bolt up in the sky_, he wanted to tell her. "A child of the Big Three we didn't know about? Chiron, where did he come from?"

"Hey, did you forget I was here? You can ask me! I came from a stork, like anyyyy..." She shot him a look. "Or you could totally ask him," he quickly corrected himself. "I bet that's a better idea."

-o-

No one was really about to argue with Jason about who was going with him on his mysterious quest while he was glowing and shirtless. Piper herself was more than a little distracted, but by his eyes; all of their shifting colors seemed more vivid against the pink aura surrounding him.

Wow, that sounded weird.

But even though he could have brought along anyone he wanted, and probably should have taken the best and most experienced, for some reason he heard her out when she stood up. Piper almost wished he hadn't. Leo was an obvious choice, as a son of Zeus, but what could Piper do?

Nothing, she knew. Nothing but make things worse for everyone.

-o-

In the distance, Monocle Motors was barely more than an ashen skeleton of a building. Cyclopes may have been resistant to fire, but the warehouse hadn't been, and even Ma Gasket couldn't take the whole structure coming down on her. Piper suddenly stopped and collapsed to her knees, apparently unable to keep running. Leo couldn't blame her.

"Hey," Leo said, his voice shaking, as he set Jason on the ground and reached out to grip her shoulder. He couldn't tell if the trembling he felt was coming from her or him. Actually, it was probably both. "Piper, hey." He was pretty sure he should be saying something more than that, but this was Leo, after all. As always, he had no idea what to do to make someone feel better, except that he was pretty sure he shouldn't mention how badly she had just freaked him out. Where was Jason's conscious state when you needed it?

"Oh god," Piper choked out. Her eyes drifted back to the silhouette of the factory. Leo shook her shoulder, figuring the sight wouldn't do wonders for her mood.

"_Hey_," he said again, a little more decidedly. He was even starting to tremble less, and managed a smile. Or something close to it, anyway. "You saved our butts back there."

He could see in Piper's eyes that she wasn't convinced. "I'm a freak," she said, tiny-voiced.

"Wait, you're saying that's news?" Oh, there we go. Now she was glaring at him. That was better.

"Don't joke about this, Valdez! I could have really hurt you both! I could have-" Her voice broke, and she cut herself off, but Leo already knew too what she had been about to say. He pulled her in by the shoulder and encased her in a hug, hoping it would work a little better than words.

"I'm feeling pretty good, Drama Queen," he told her, even though it wasn't true in the least. He hoped he wouldn't shock her by mistake, and tried to shut up the part of him that hoped she wouldn't set him on fire. "Thanks to you. You did great."

"Don't lie," she sobbed, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and neither of them were getting any scorch marks yet, which was good. He let her cry on him for a while, hoping it was the right thing to do in the situation. Apparently it was, because eventually she pulled back and wiped her eyes. "Thanks," she mumbled.

"No problem," he told her, feeling a little better himself. "I always wanted to be a hankie when I grew up." Piper elbowed him, but cracked a small, brittle smile.

"Shut it."

"For now," Leo agreed. "But when Jason wakes up, I'm totally telling him how _hot_ you are."

She punched him in the gut.

-o-

Apparently, after Piper's mysterious conversation with her godly parent, it was Jason's turn. He was so absorbed with thinking of how to explain the information about Terra, or Gaea, without telling his friends that his mother had spoken with him, he didn't even notice the change of clothes they'd all gone through until Leo pointed it out. At least he still had a shirt this time, which is probably why it didn't register sooner.

"Aphrodite pay you a visit?" Leo quipped, unsettlingly dry. Jason glanced at Piper, whose face looked about as helpless as Jason felt. Silently, they both understood: Leo's turn to meet his father wouldn't come.

"Not exactly," he answered, as uncomfortable as it made him. He hated lying to them, but he knew he couldn't put Venus-Aphrodite?-on the line for something so small. Leo stood up from the cafe table he'd woken up sprawled across, and Jason scrambled a little to catch up with him. "Leo," he said as he reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "Forget about him." It was tempting to lace charmspeak into his words, but he didn't. He wanted Leo to do this himself. "He's not worth it."

"Yeah," Piper agreed, bumping shoulders with Leo on his other side. "Your dad's a jerk." The sky rumbled, but she didn't seem the least bit intimidated by it, which was more than a little impressive, frankly. Leo tried to shake them both off.

"Yeah, right. Definitely couldn't have figured out that one for myself, guys. Let's just go, and don't get us killed, Piper."

"A jerk," Jason added, on possibly the stupidest whim he'd ever had, "who doesn't even look out for his own wife." Venus had styled Piper's hair so it wasn't in her face like it usually was; her grin looked wider and sharper without the distraction.

"He sounds like a useless lug in the stories," she chimed in, hooking arms with Leo. Jason took his other hand, following her cue without a second thought. "I mean, does he ever do anything except have kids and like, try to eat them sometimes?" she continued.

"Guys," Leo warned, glancing up at the sky. He lifted his hand as if half-heartedly trying to pull it out of Jason's grasp, but he couldn't have moved enough to manage it, anyway, stuck between them like he was.

"They're the real talent," Jason added. Leo avoided making eye contact, but the embarrassed look on his face was still oddly satisfying, even if it was also a little terrified underneath.

"No wonder, if all Zeus ever does is pretend everything's fine. I bet he's the kind of guy who never asks for directions, and ends up in Florida on his way to Chicago," said Piper gleefully.

"_Guys_," Leo repeated, after another rumble of far-off thunder. "Come on, cut it out!" he hissed towards Piper, who raised her eyebrows in a challenge.

"What," she said, "you want me to leave all the insults to _Jason_?"

Jason frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?" Neither of them answered, which left him still feeling a little confused and offended, but after a moment, Leo started to smile, and then laughed outright.

"Are you kidding me?" he said. "Have you heard this guy? You guys _need_ me."


End file.
